


The Nutritional Value of Jerks

by Nanyoky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 14:52:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanyoky/pseuds/Nanyoky
Summary: Sif doesn't need help moving and definitely doesn't need input on her poor choices in sustenance.





	The Nutritional Value of Jerks

**Author's Note:**

> Another old prompt I'm attached to. This isn't one of my main ships but it kinda shanghaied me.

Sif let her forehead thunk against the snack machine. She might as well die here. If she didn't get a few calories in her, she wasn't going to make it up the stairs again, let alone with her last box of dishes.

"Sure," she mumbled to herself, because if anyone heard her talking to herself, she could at least eat them to avoid any social faux pas. "You don't need help moving. You were in the reserves for the Olympics! You can carry some stupid boxes up four flights of stairs by yourself. No problem. You don't' even need to remember to eat breakfast because you're just so great, Sif. Forget all those jerks who offered to help. They were just being misogynistic assholes to think their friend might want someone here today to remind her to eat."

She groaned and punched the machine a few times, harder and harder.

"It won't work."

Sif looked up at the person who must now be her next meal. He was tall, angular, and looking at her with an impersonal sort of mild dislike she was sure was his default expression. She frowned at his wiry limbs. She'd likely still be hungry if she ate him.

"And how do you know that?"

"It's broken."

"Then why isn't there a sign?"

"Everyone _knows_ it's broken."

Sif scowled at the way he said " _knows_." " _Knows_ " like it was just something you were born with. Like this candy machine in this apartment complex was so broken that the entire world was given the knowledge of its malfunction by the gods themselves.

"Well, evidently you are mistaken," she said, letting out a huff of breath. "Because I wouldn't have wasted five dollars trying to get something to eat if I had known it was broken."

He frowned, his dark brows drawing together. "You lost five dollars in that thing?"

"I'm hungry."

"Let me get this right," he spoke slowly, his face set. Sif glared. If she looked closely, she could see the faintest spark of humor in the back of his eye. "After not one, not two, not even three, but four dollars being eaten by a snack machine, you put in another dollar of your hard-earned money? Hoping for different results?"

"I'm _hungry_ ," she repeated in her most dangerous voice- the one her friends knew meant it was time to stop teasing her for being "the girl" and change the subject.

"But it's broken. Everyone knows it's broken. Everyone who lives here. Are you visiting someone? Sleeping with someone?"

Sif's face heated. "You're unbelievably rude."

"So sleeping with someone then."

"I'm moving in," she corrected, furious that she even had to justify herself to this stranger.

He stared at her for another moment. "Was that all that racket this morning across the hall?"

Her stomach sank. "You're in 203?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Well, hi. I'm 202."


End file.
